The Great Depression

Not history! not completely my sob story! but since it comes up in most of the stuff I write, I felt it was worth writing about once…some thoughts on depression.

In most cases, depression is still not acknowledged as a condition that requires treatment, medical or psychological, till it goes out of control. At the early stages, people think you are just a gloomy sort, or you are going through a phase, or you are cranky; anything but the fact that you have a problem and you need help. This applies even to the person who is going through it, by the way.

The usual tendency is to find something to attribute your feelings to – its stress at work, its the money, its health, its hormones. Often there is indeed a trigger for the downward spiral and that is imagined to be the cause, while its more likely to be the last straw. But I see no point in analyzing the cause of depression simply because it persists even after the cause has been addressed. You would expect ‘problem solved, effects will disappear’. No sir! By then the feeling has become causeless, meaningless, hopeless. Its like a dark blanket on your mind.

Someone said that depression is anger without enthusiasm. Quite accurate considering one doesn’t have the enthusiasm to even worry about things. that silent despair is what does you in. the lack of interest in pulling yourself out is what keeps you in. that is what I wish one is beware of. As long as you worry, kick the chair in frustration, you are still ok; but when it doesn’t matter anymore, you stop and think why…

Depending on the severity of the condition I believe the treatment is either through medicines or counseling or a combination. Popular opinion on anti-depressants is quite against it but I think one has to trust the expert. Some say it dulls your mind, but I am not sure if that’s a permanent effect. If it is, hell, I can only hope I haven’t taken too much of it. But counseling is safe, I can vouch for that.

The post-depression stage is a tricky one; just when you think you are alright, there are these minor breakdowns and setbacks that you have to deal by yourself – no medication, no counseling, just your newly revived will power. That is when I sincerely wish that people around can do their bit. Their bit being not scaring the hell out of the person by acting as if one were a time-bomb; ‘are you ok? are you breaking down? are you going to walk out?’. Even if you are good-intentioned this creates a negativity that one can do without.

What’s worse is, when one is completely ok and is worried / upset as any other person would be, it is seen to be a breakdown. The same level of work put in before is acceptable, after is not. Before long one starts believing that he / she is not fully alright after all. In my case it took me a while to stop paying attention to what others think / say and look only into my mind for the answers. Cos despite of the tricks it played on me earlier, I still trust my mind to be my best friend and strongest weapon. If it says I am ok, bloody hell, I am ok.

Finally, I just want to emphasize that depression is not insanity and it is not taboo getting help for it. And since prevention is better than cure, when bad stuff happens, make sure you deal with it then and there. Cry, scream, crib, punch someone (something may be) but remember that it matters, you matter! always!

disclaimer: this is no scientific article but merely an effort to ensure depression is not taken lightly by those going through it or those witnessing it. If it helps someone understand things a little better, I would consider it worth the effort. On the contrary, if it freaks you out or makes you paranoid, please consult a qualified doctor / counselor before you do anything about it. and I am sorry :-)